Olivia is a clever little fairy and a sly little fox all rolled into one.
“Please don’t go Mummy”.
Every time I leave her now. For bed, for pre school, for the grocery shopping and today when I had to be admitted for an operation. It killed me. Her little voice really pulls at my heart strings until I remember that actually she just wants a reaction. She is too young to understand how sad it makes me feel. She loves her bed and is asleep within ten seconds of me leaving the room, at pre school she settles in just fine and when I said goodbye to her today she did not even give me a second glance after I handed her the iPad as a distraction! So I have learnt to be tough and not let the little Madame coerce Mummy into falling for it.
But I came to the realisation today that another sixteen years down the line in her precious life and we will be trading places. Her exact words will be falling from my lips as I am sure she will have a busy social life and enjoying many exhilarating times with a close circle of friends. Will she still want to hang out with her Mummy? Probably not. I am pretty certain she will choose a teenage party over a tea party with Mummy’s vintage tea set or a trip to the cinema rather than a date with her parents snuggled up watching a family movie.
The thought of Olivia becoming a young Lady terrifies me right now. Although that said I can rest assure that she will be a perfect one.
Olivia is not the only one that lays on the guilt trip. I started writing a post the other day about OCS. Only child syndrome.
Olivia is an only child and the so called technicalities of this term had never crossed my mind before until a few comments started to pop up from friends and strangers. Small hints at first “maybe it is time for a little playmate” or “so have you planned for another”.
This is one hundred and ten percent laying on the guilt trip. Maybe before childbirth I was guilty of asking the same questions unaware that I was delving so personally into the private lives of others.
You see now I have come to the realisation that small gestures of concern towards raising an only child are actually very offensive.
Sure some parents decide an only child is best for them. But maybe some parents are unable to produce another child. Maybe they had a terrible experience during childbirth, Maybe those parents went through a long and trying process of IVF. Maybe those parents are too aged for further children. Or maybe lack of funds.
There could be so many reasons why.
Whilst writing this post I am recovering In hospital from a repair to a prolapsed bowel caused through child birth. I had suffered for two and a half years with this uncomfortable condition and have could not even contemplated having another child until I deemed my body fit. Right now after feeling I have been through the process of back labor all over again, having another child is the last thing on my mind. Who knows maybe one day after I have a successful recovery. But until then I hope I have raised some awareness of how a simple question can leave a parent feeling so guilty for not producing a sibling.
Personally I believe good parenting and a little extra input in teaching your child how to respect and share with others completely rules out the myth of only child syndrome.
Olivia already has a teenage sister from my partners previous marriage and I come from a huge family with her cousins ranging from 8 months old all the way through to 24. Olivia has an active lifestyle and a healthy social life. Many play dates with different pals both in and away from pre school.
Olivia is gentle, kind and coherent to her peers and is not at all shy.
I think she will do just fine if we decide to raise an only child.
What are your thoughts on OCS?