I covered this subject before about how I felt raising an only child and how I thought it would or rather wouldn’t affect my Daughter.
You see, my Daughter is not an only child. She has a much older sibling from her Daddy’s side. Of whom she is especially close to. Inseparable when they are together, both the image of their Daddy.
As I take a rare afternoon nap with my Daughter (on holiday!) I realise how fortunate I am to get so much alone time with her. From one on one activities to snapping memories and even precious cuddle time. My Daughter doesn’t have to share me with anyone.
But just because my life on social media looks so inviting it doesn’t mean that I’m not going through the same parenting shit as a mum to multiple siblings.
My Daughter doesn’t have a constant playmate. She lacks the company of a smaller person and relies on me for constant entertainment.
Learning to share was a milestone rather than a trait.
Learning to look after another, learning to nurture, learning self sufficiency.
I am all she has twenty four seven.
I sometimes wander what a parent to multiple kids thinks about a parent to just one child.
If my Daughter had a younger sibling then would she be so clingy? Would she be more independent? Would she be wiser? Not that I think she lacks any of the above qualities already.
I know I am fortunate to have the time to make memories with my one Daughter and to only have to organise one child. But when she is older that’s all I will have. Our photos and our memories. My baby will be off to uni, maybe traveling or starting a family of her own and my own experience of Motherhood will have all flown by far too quickly.
I guess having an only child gives you time to evaluate situations a little more.
When my Daughter is being loud or crazy I remind myself that she will only be little once.
When she wants to stuff her face with chocolate mousse after dinner, I remind myself what a great eater she is and embrace her appetite.
When she wants to squeeze into our bed and wedge herself In between her Daddy and I. I am grateful to have the chance to hold her.
I am grateful to not have to share myself or my time. But I am sad that she has nobody else to share her time with.
There are reasons why we have chosen only to have one child and I certainly take my hat off to any Mother raising more than one. Olivia asks me constantly for a Baby Brother or Sister and i have no words just yet to explain why her wish will never be met. I feel it is my Husbands decision more than mine but I was aware of his situation when I married him.
All is not lost.
I am the youngest of four girls and am lucky enough to have handfuls of nieces and nephews. With a small age gap, some of my family members are like siblings to me so maybe Olivia will get to experience that big sister feeling after all!